MARCH 28 2021
NUI THI VAI
Hash Flashers: Chom Chom, Secs
Ringmaster: Chom Chom
As the sun rose over small Vung Tau last Sunday morning, one thing was certain, over 50 hashers would be gathering at Tommy’s bar on Le Ngoc Han for the start of run 978. As 1PM approached, over 50 amazing people, set off on their journeys from home to gather for the hash. They arrived, young and old, all dressed in their hashing gear. From top to toe they sparkled and filled with energy. The docker stood with pen in hand as the bull ant kept an eye, the Dong was handed over, but no hasher could deny, the money was well spent, and that we are all sure, as we looked upon the men, who hoisted eskies high. The eskies were all filled with drinks, and sausage rolls and fruit; they'd better not under count or our down down would be down. Then in we packed into the bus, no seat left unoccupied, with smiles and joy we knew, that time was ticking by, soon we’d be in a mountain, much closer to the sky.
The bus pulled off at 1:30pm, as stories were exchanged, and the uninformed hashers such as I, were filled with wonderment. Where was the bus going, and how long would it take. The information came through, for Phu My we were set. This was a destination, of an hours drive, so the chatterboxes chatted and others sat reclined. The ladies sat with phones in hand, and the little children wondered why, oh why oh why cannot that phone, be in my little hands. The bus moved through the countryside, as it took its lefts and rights, the bus it was moving fast, to everyones delight. For the diver is a cleaver man and never could go wrong, so our destination we arrived as we gazed upon our quest.
The mountain looked formidable, as it stretched into the sky, but we were told by Andy that temples lay inside. He told us of the thousand steps, and then a few hundred more, that lay in store for so, if we could only get that high. To make it to the very top we’d need to keep an eye, and watch out for the ribbons or troubles we would find. Then Andy gave the order, as the hashers did move out, we wondered past the iron gates, as we quickened up our pace. Then Chom Chom raced past from the rear, but no one wondered why, for he is the man that captures, our journeys to the sky.
As we journeyed through the jungle, the mountain we did climb, and broke into our little groups, as we marched towards the sky. There were a few that moved ahead, they're hares and thats a fact, you see them at the very start, and then that is the last. They are the famous hashers, who all have famous names, there’s Chippy, and there’s bull ant, Velcro and Mr. Ben. There are no slouchers in our hash, but these hares we can not catch, until they reach the very top then Chippy’s camera out. She photographs the mountains, she photographs the trees, she photographs the hashers as they rest upon their knees. She is so very funny, you may think she’s missed you out, but tut tut to that very thought when Chippy is about.
Then at the top we all did gather, to have a look about, we wondered what our eyes could see, there was so much about. The distance stretched beyond our gaze, and then a little more, so we all sat down to talk about our journey to the top. We talked about the mountain, we talked about the trees and I talked about the little snake you scared me to my knees.
Then the mountains top we trekked across, as we waved our merry cheer, to the monk and dogs that sit up there, to wind away their years. For some the muscles gave an ache, there is no wonder why, two hours walking up and up, will leave you with sore thighs. Then finally we got there, a temple in the sky, we’d made it to the promised land, as Andy had described. We walked around, we had a drink, but there was little time for us to think. The sun it was setting, but we had far to go, no elevator from from the sky, so many steps to go. As we started down the mountain side, we could not see the end, but we were glad we weren't the ones, travelling on the up. The journey down was not so hard, as we looked across the land, we saw the beauty of the place and the mine that seemed to sleep.
Back we came in two’s and three’s, we plopped into the chairs, we talked about the hashers who still were not about. We knew that they would make it, for this we had no no fear, but we were getting hungry and we had to wait. Then the word it went about, the sausage rolls were out, the fruit it was being carved up and there was such delight. The dogs were keen, to help us out, but never got there way, they hadn't done as we had done, so we never helped them out.
The final hashers did return, all looking for revive, the girls drank mostly water but the men preferred their wine (beer). To the last ones back, we all gave cheer and food and drinks and fruit, they were so very lucky, there had been a greedy one about. Now hashers all be mindful to rules we must obey and watchful eyes are needed when problems come our way. Be mindful of the greedy ones who take take away the food for that we must be vigilant and stop the silly fool.
The day it had been magic, so full of fun and cheer, but one more job we had to do before we said good-day. A birthday cake it did appear to mark a special day. With Chippy on the camera and Chom Chom in dismay. The music started playing, the Vietnamese came first, then followed by the chorus from all who were about.
Happy birthday Ms. HBO. Happy birthday to you.
What followed was the dark of night to take the photo of the day, the eskies and the hashers, the virgins and the sinners. We all stood firm behind the banner waving Saigon chill, with darkness all around us, Chom Chom he shouted cheese. He took a photo and a video of this I'm almost sure, but nothing really mattered now, it was the time to go home. The bus was loaded up, the hashers climbed aboard, the driver pointed to Vung Tau and we were on our way. Onboard the seats they were all full from the front back to the rear, so nothing left for us to do but have a little cheer. The eskies they were opened, the music came about and soon music was playing as we moved back to Tommy’s bar.
RUN 978 GALLERY
MARCH 21 2021
Hares: Bull Ant
Hash Flashers: Chom Chom, Various Hashers
Ringmaster: Chom Chom
Report: Faulty Brakes
22 more hash runs remain until the millennium Hash later this year. The trail for today’s Hash was set by resident paleontologist Bull Ant. We welcomed Mr Saigon Chill and his family and we are proud to have them as our new sponsors and we appreciate the new eskies which they supplied for Vung Tau Hash House Harriers. Another sunny Sunday at Tommy’s Bar in Le Ngoc Han began with the customary removal of Beers and Drinks from our storeroom, eskies including our new Saigon Chill (complete with wheels handles and stopcock) - everything in order including today’s gourmet menu.
Time being 1.25pm but still no sign of Mr Da our foremost supplier of the vital refrigerant, fear not eventually he arrived on his motorbike with 2 bags of shaved ice which was dumped into the eskies and loaded onto the our Bus.
Departure time was upon us, pulling away slowly, the “man overboard cry“ was heard, no panic Johnny was missing, bus stopped 30 seconds later we were back to our full complement of 51 hashers. The registration had been done by Docker and Dennis earlier and the Dong was accounted for diligently. Now in hazy sunshine we trundled along Quan Truong turning left into Thang Nhat past the church into Truong Cong Dinh and onwards to Long Hai picking up one more hasher and on oning to Ho Tram via Long Hai.
Today’s trail was no “Busted Flush“ Young Bullant had pulled out all the stops. The previous Thursday prior to setting the trail here, he relieved a tidy sum from the Casino and on the same day he set the exciting trail for today by doing the work of 2 men(Laurel and Hardy?). Eventually we arrived at our Down Down location, a roadside cafe in Ho Tram with all hashers disembarking, it was soon time for today’s instruction.
As per usual always follow the Red Ribbons, if you can’t find the next one go back to the last one and start again, our mantra since Day 1. This part of describing runs is now defunct thanks to Chom Chom’s award winning You Tube videos.
80 minutes later people started arriving back at our Down Down cafe, relaxing and chatting around the tables and slaking thirsts with the new sleek cans of Nectar that is SAIGON CHILL. The banquet which was to follow with Roast Pork Banh mi was sublime, definitely the best Roast Pork in Vietnam to which we are indebted to Docker, Aqua and Claire, or should that read, Aqua, Docker And Claire, it was great, thanks to all concerned. Sorry for bangin on about the pork, someone remarked that if God made any better he’d’ve kept it for himself.
Showtime, enter Chom Chom (the unofficial Lord Mayor of Vung Tau) to guide us through today’s procedures. Returnees, Sinners and of course a warm welcome to Mr SAIGON CHILL AND HIS ESKIES. Everyone enjoyed the accomplished Ringmastered presentation by C.C who is still selling Chom boxes in Vung Tau.
The next part of today’s pilgrimage is the departure for home, Trolley Service on Board, Check? All Hashers on board check? Light fading and darkness calling the bus load of contented hashers headed for Vung Tau only stopping for the inevitable pit stop along the way. Music playing, a great atmosphere, people happy when eventually we arrive where it all began 6 hours previously.
Time to return all our equipment to our stores and enjoy what has now become an integral part of Sunday, the 19th hole. Pizza, Music, Beer, more Beer and in the week of Saint Patrick’s day with the Rugby Result against the old foe being 32 - something and the National Hunt festival in Cheltenham being an Hibernophiles dream, another great day!
RUN 977 GALLERY
MARCH 14 2021
NUI DINH - HELICOPTER TRAIL
Hares: Bull Ant, Chippy, Secs, Teddy
Hash Flashers: Chom Chom, Secs
Ringmaster: Chom Chom
Report: Bull Ant
Every Hasher's favourite day, Sunday, and this week was run number 976 which would see us heading to Nui Dinh and the "Helipad" for a trail set by Hares; Teddy, Secs, Chippy and Bullant. So, as usual, Bean Counters Zidane and Bullant handle the finances while many hands make light work of loading the eskies with all the essentials and packing the bus. With everything in order and a full bus, it was time to head off to Nui Dinh making a couple of stops along the way to collect more Hashers.
After making its way up the windy mountainous road, the bus arrived near the starting point. From here we would walk a few hundred metres to the start of the trail where Secs would brief everyone. This popular trail was to be completed a bit differently to normal. Today we would do it in reverse. It was already noticeable that red tape had been removed and hopefully that wasn't indicative of what was to come? With everyone briefed, it was on on and straight into the bamboo jungle. It was a direct contrast to the last time this trail was done during the wet season. Instead of having to negotiate our way through overflowing creeks and rivers, all we had to contend with this week was the dead leaves on the ground making things a little slippery in places. After trekking a couple of kilometres uphill we arrived at the "Helipad" and the glorious view. Being the dry season allowed access to a large rock above the "Helipad". Those that ventured up the rock were rewarded with a stunning view of Ba Ria and Vung Tau. With a plethora of selfies taken, it was now time to head down and as was the case at the start of the trail, a lot of red tape had been removed. Fortunately everyone made their way down safely with very little guidance from markings.
With a handful of front runners at the down down location, it was time to unpack the bus. Among the handful were a couple of strapping young lads joining us from Ho Chi Minh which made the task a little easier. The eskies open and everyone with drink in hand, we were then treated to a lecture on the Jurassic period given by a very bright young 5 year old. As Secs rightly pointed out, he was probably inspired by the dinosaurs sitting on the eskies. Once everyone returned it was time for music, banh mi, fruit, and drinks. Soon after it was then time for the mandatory photo and circle. After rating the Hares trail and welcoming the virgins, it was fitting that we allocate some Hash names to our regular Hashers...Optimus Prime, Bumblebee, Megatron, Havachat (after originally choosing Saul Goodman, the vote went with Havachat), Teddy, Toy, Reanne, Michael Dang, Forrest, and Johnny.
With dusk approaching it was time to pack up and make the journey back to Tommy's. It was very much the usual trip home, music playing, beer flowing, and Velcro and Bullant requesting a comfort stop. Back at Tommy's, with the bus emptied and everything packed away, it was time for the down down down. With the down down down gaining popularity, we had a bigger group than usual and even Uncle was awaiting our return. With music from the Perfect Jive Duo, Randy's pizzas and beer a plenty, it was a perfect end to a perfect day.
Thanks to all the contributors who make this such a great day every week.
RUN 976 GALLERY
MARCH 7 2021
LONG SON ISLAND - INTERNATIONAL WOMEN'S DAY
Hares: Chippy, Chom Chom, Secs
Hash Flashers: Chom Chom, Secs
Ringmaster: Chom Chom
Sunday had arrived International Lady Day Hash day run 975 Long Son Island, shock, horror as i woke to the sounds horns blaring, bike roaring, taxis swerving, buses blocking traffic, looked like HCM peak hour traffic jam, maybe they should go ten pin bowling and learn too stay in their own lane. Welcome to a sunny Sunday in vung tau scare. Time to check with mismanagement, Bus, Cake, ice all organized only fruit and bunh mi to collect and dodge all the HCM loony's on the roads off Vung tau choi oi! Time for the Hash, good luck to all trying to get to Tommy's Bar. As we arrived at Tommy's to begin our organizing, time to collect the money load eskies with all the goodies, Happy hashers arrived and me and my sidekick Bullant collected money Other Hashers loaded eskies under the ever watchful eye of Cleaver, cake arrived time to load the bus Onon we said and Boarded the bus, good to see the Irish Boys back on board our happy hashers bus, plenty of room for all. Off we went away from hustle and bustle of vung tau to the quiet serenity off lovely Long Son Island just a quick call to KFC to organize the chicken, and a happy road trip, very relaxing and enjoyable bus ride. As we turned off the highway and as we crossed over the river and enjoyed the scenery and quiet, peaceful place we rolled on to the start of our Hash trail, We arrived and as we disembarked from the bus to cross the road to the start of our trail, we realized a group of hashers were at the Downdown spot a quick phone call and they arrived to a Hash welcome , Time to do the trail chomchom at the ready with video and camera to catch all the action hmm who knows maybe another Golden Globe hehe, Secs gave the talk about trail , very well delivered and informative as our hashers listened, well some did, OnOn Hashers and they marched off dressed In their particular style gloves, sticks, jackets, hoods, selfie sticks onon we went up up up up up and more up, well as we walked and talked and joked and sweated and enjoyed all the sites on the uphill March we were thankful for the cool breeze which greeted you in some places on our uphill trek, finally we arrived at the top of the climb some quickly, some not so quickly stopping for a rest or a selfie or enjoy the lovely views on our uphill trek, At the top we were greeted by Secs with encouraging words all easy now just a nice stroll along the top and down the slope to the down down take your time and enjoy the rest off the trail easy, well not as easy as our hardy hashers Sparkles, Miss America, spiderboy all parked up at the down down resting in the hammocks hmmm, Back on the trail the young and healthy, the OBF and the lovely ladies commenced the downhill trail through the winding track and bamboo and enjoy a lovely Sunday stroll, a special mention to our Hares for a very well marked trail Blind Freddie could have followed this trail, Down down we went some chatting some enjoying the peace and tranquility of being in the countryside as opposed to the hustle and bustle of Mad Sunday in Vung Tau Down the track through the bamboo onto the path and down the trail past the houses and accompanying sounds off dogs barking and hashers chatting, we arrived onto the road turn right slight stroll up the street and to be greeted by a 5 star cameraman chomchom and cheers from the happy hashers at the Downdown, winner winner soon to be chicken dinner Eskies out chairs and tables at the ready much to do cut the fruit for hardy hashers still coming organize the chicken, cut the bunh mi Onon we had a feast to prepare to celebrate Ladies day on the Hash Chippy washing the cutting boards and knifes and the ladies group hard at work the last few hashers arrived , few coldies and few Revives and cool drinks, Time for lights camera action Team photo and Video onon out with Banner quick roundup off Hashers where ready, with a yo hai bai and your the best chomchom beers held high and big wide smiles job done Time for the cutting off the five star chicken and videos and selfies meanwhile the children looked on in anticipation off what was to come along with our own food experts Bullant and Doyle Preparations done time to eat and Hashers helped themselves and moved to tables and groups to enjoy the golden chicken , Well fed and thirst quenched time for the circle ,front and center drinks waiter Doyle and Ringmaster Chomchom first cab off the rank Hares,,, Secs ,Chippy ,Chomchom they got a high rating again great trail well done Boys and Girls, Next came the virgins new hashers welcome one and all Stu ,Huong Lan Happy Mum ,followed by returnees ,then sinners the beloved hammock trio, all done time for cut the cake for ladies day with selfies and video with lovely lady Hashers Bellys full and thirst quenched time for the return journey always a highlight off the trip the back off the bus Blues Brothers choir with music box and ladies, As we boarded, eskies loaded hashers all correctly accounted for off we set for Tommy's bar, As we Travelled back the roads were guiet and the lights of vung tau beckoned us weary Hashers ,a few beers provided by our drinks 5 star waiter Secs unlike Mr T who gave us the Bird - Boo Another great trail and Hash Day as we arrived and the Hashers begin to disembark from the bus at Tommy's and helped us unload the bus remove all bags and eskies and help to put in the storage room, A big thank you to the HARES , Smiley for the fruit, Aqua for the cake, Chippy for golden chicken, and Faulty Brakes for the ice, Till the next run take care and be safe and well
RUN 975 GALLERY
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