APRIL 24 2022
LONG HAI / MINH DAM
Hares: Mr. T, Chippy, Secs, Have-A-Chat
Hash Flashers: Secs, Chom Chom, Have-A-Chat
At lunch time last Sunday, a group began gathering at Tommy’s Bar and tavern on a small back street of Vung Tau city. As numbers grew, it became increasingly obvious that no one was there to enjoy the delightful Saigon chill now served at -2 degrees. In fact, most seemed to want to do absolutely nothing, standing around while trying to look interesting. The group mostly used code names to refer to one other and many were dressed in the same green camouflage, Hash 1000 shirts. Two of the group, who were later identified by the code names Have A Chat and Chom Chom went around the back of the premises and started to remove copious amounts of beautiful Saigon Chill, along with other drinks which were not Saigon Chill. At this point no-one had spoken to either the proprietor or staff of the tavern. The two men removed the beverages using eskies which they found in the store room. Meanwhile, two of the group AKA Jonny, who is a Vietnamese girl and Mr-T who spoke with a strong Australian accent, started requesting money from the group. There is some speculation about the meaning of the T in Mr-T and there is some evidence to suggest that the T in Mr-T could stand for Tax but this could neither be confirmed nor denied. Anyhow, the tax man continued to extort money while Jonny totted up the amounts.
Some children who were approximated to be no more than 6 years of age seemed concerned that the tax man would be coming after their pocket money, but thanks to an intervention from Chom Chom, no request was made that they hand over their pocket money. However, after a short discussion between the Taxman and Chom Chom, it was decided that pocket money would no longer be safe from collection.
Chom Chom did seem to be instrumental in all the group's activities and at around 1:30PM he was seen nervously chatting with Secs about the arrival of the Iceman. The iceman eventually arrived driving an inconspicuous looking vehicle, and delivered his cargo in three sacks. The iceman was offered a payment which he accepted and soon after, he quickly fled the scene.
A source at the bar later reported that the group then loaded the eskies onto a bus along with the people who were mostly doing nothing as they made a quick escape.
As the bus pulled away, speculation was rife amongst the bar patrons as to where this group could be heading. One source cast doubt on the speculation that the group would not return later for more Saigon Chill being served at -2 degrees. One thing that could be agreed upon by all was that this hash gang enjoyed being high, usually high up in mountainous areas. No apparent connections could be substantiated to connect this group with any Moroccan hash movements; however, links have been found on social media connecting them to a Saigon Hash gang.
To uncover the purpose and intent of the Hash group we had the bus trailed.
On the bus people were allowed to choose their own seats. Some chose to look out the window while others spoke softly to one another or listened to music as the bus escaped Vung Tau.
After passing through the town of Long Hai, the bus unexpectedly turned left and into a small by-road heading in the direction of Minh Dam mountain. After travelling along this road for a few minutes the bus came to a sudden stop and three people disembarked. Rumour travelled around the bus that this stop was due to Faulty Brakes.
Later, as the bus climbed a particularly steep hill, a technical difficulty erupted, as passengers gasped and tensions grew. The driver fought against the laws of gravity and science as the bus moved forward and then backwards. The whole drama was reminiscent of the day Thomas the Tank Engine’s friend Edward experienced a simmer difficulty. In that Episode Thomas and Gordan raced to assist Edward but the dilemma on the bus that Sunday was far more perilous as there was no Thomas or Gordon to assist the driver. Would or wouldn't the bus make it was the question on every person's lips. Then with a crunch and some grinding noises, it became evident that the bus driver had danced with the devil and rescued the day. Suddenly the bus filled with rapturous applause as the bus chugged along once again towards its destination.
The bus eventually found itself in a remote carpark at the foot of the Minh Dam mountains. With most of the group now shading under some trees, others went into a small building across on the other side of the car park, to take care of some private business as they put it. It was then that Mr Secs stepped forward to announce the purpose of where, what, why and who. As some pretended to listen to Secs, some actually paid good action but no one questioned his instruction. The group then moved into the mountain after splintering off yet again. Soon the gang would be split into 3 parts with some people walking along the road while Tony, an ex military man travelled up the mountain alone to have a quiet word with someone as he put it.
With most of the group now travelling through the forest, a strange thing happened. Mr. Chom Chom and Have A Chat started to record everyone. Using Go Pro’s and Apple phones, so every person would find themselves being digitally remastered at some point in the future. When recording their videos some of the female group members would stop suddenly and without announcement, they would shout photo, the two flashers were not overjoyed by the ladies conduct as this seemed to hinder their recording.
At this point it became evident that certain members were taking a leading role. With Mr T AKA the tax man along with Chippy, Secs and Have a chat started directing the path that everyone needed to follow. At times they waited for others and pointed them towards turns that otherwise they may have missed. ON ON they marched following the trail. The trail continued for over two hours with the gang visiting every temple on the mountain for reasons which cannot be explained. Every time the gang came upon a vantage point they clambered out onto the rocks and proceeded to photograph everything in front of them. The group spoke pleasantly towards each other throughout the climb and everyone seemed to be enjoying whatever it was that they were doing up this mountain. One thing which was for sure, the group really knew their way around this mountain.On the final descent there were many who felt tiredness creeping into their muscles and so all seemed happy to once again return to the carpark. At an estimate there were probably over 500 photos and short videos taken on the day. This was obviously a day which none of the group would forget in a hurry.
At the car park, Jan, Tony and the Faulty Breaks guy waited patiently for the main group to return. They were passing their time by drinking some Saigon Chill at -2 degrees, they seemed very content. As each member of the group returned to the car park, they went straight to the eskies for refreshments, with most of the men opting for the beautiful Saigon Chill which had remained at -2 degrees thanks to the cold ice.
As the ambiance was smashing new highs the down down became a big down down as Chom Chom and Have a Chat started ordering people to gather around a banner for yet more photos and videos, They all shouted Saigon Chill and it then came to an abrupt end.
Next, Have A Chat was handed a microphone. He wandered around in his silly hat asking people to rate the mountain, the trail, the experience. First score was a 4 which seemed to sadden the guy but then a 10 was followed by a 9, and finally another 10. Using weak biased mathematics, he announced an average score of 8.9 for the trail.
Then, various groups of people were asked to line up and drink beers down down down. One such group were classified as the Virgins. Thankfully, the children were not asked to drink beer, however they were questioned by Have A Chat. The questions all seemed to be of a personal nature, such as, where are you from, what is your name, and who told you about us? The virgins were a lovely bunch, Vaughn was just in from Perth Australia while many of the others were from Vietnam.
An initiation song was sung for the virgins, which included the words Bia Hoi, pho bo, nibble gobble chew, as Have A Chat mumbled out these words, others in the group became excited and cheered. This initiation process was obviously very important to the group. Then a man who spoke only Russian had the happy birthday song sung to him and he really enjoyed this attention, so much so that he offered cake to everyone present.
After the circle, Secs poured the ice out of the eskies and as the Saigon Chill rose above -2 degrees they all poured back onto the bus. I’m guessing Vung Tau and maybe even Tommy’s bar. It all seemed like such a fun day out for everyone. Maybe I shall join them again next week.
RUN 1005 GALLERY
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