JANUARY 29 2023
MINH DAM MOUNTAIN - HERMIT TRAIL
Hares: Mr. T, Bull Ant, Chippy, Have-A-Chat
Hash Flashers: Chippy, Have-A-Chat
Report: Hot Lips
“LIES!” - exclaimed one hot and bothered breathless Hasher who has been promised a moderate easy terrain, “mostly downhill” run this week. Although this weeks run began with a slight elevation, it soon turned into a steep incline, nearly vertical which made the assent feel very similar to climbing a fireman's ladder in full gear. At the top of the mountain Secs appeared to be vaping to save his life and complained of a lack of oxygen due to altitude. A discussion was overheard between two veteran hashers who were questioning if ‘Vung Tau Mountain Rescue’ had a helicopter and how long it would take to get there. Not all were deterred though, as demonstrated by Chom Chom who stormed up the mountain like an angry Special Forces instructor, and more quickly downward casting aside anyone poor soul who got in the way. On return to the coach car park it was noticed several participants were missing. Shortly afterwards a group of Hasher women led by their ringleader, Johnny, sheepishly entered the car park. A dubious explanation of having ‘taken a wrong turn’ and missed the mountain was doubted by everyone in attendance. It was later discovered, through release of CCTV footage, that this group of women had been sipping Iced Frappuccinos in a local cafe, and according to the audio file were compiling a list of Top 10 complaints about men.
In better news, this week VT Hashers celebrated a milestone birthday for ever popular member Bull Ant, and birthday cake was apportioned by Chippy and the VT Hasher catering department. It was decided due to a potential fire hazard not to put the correct number of candles on the delicious aforementioned cake. The cake was especially enjoyed by the children -(controversially defined by Hash authorities as any human under 1 metre in height).
Bull Ant had earlier remarked to a fellow hasher that -“I'm 92”, which would suggest he looks incredibly good for his age, or the more likely that he weighs 92 kilos in which case should not have been given cake. After singing 'Happy Birthday' it was decided members should stick to walking as singing was not the group's forte. Karaoke fundraiser now cancelled.
Following the down down, hashers were excited to discover they would be treated to an impromptu showcase of traditional Vietnamese dancing. Very quickly the audience had a change of attitude and were visibly unsettled and blushing. The presentation appeared to be some kind of interpretation of a female feline mating ritual and the shocked viewers quickly averted their gaze.
Prior to departure, suspicious activity nearby the rear of the coach which drew attention and caused great concern. Recent VT joiner 'Curry Rice and Chips' was seen by an eyewitness attempting to entice a monkey into his knapsack. It was alleged the so called 'Curry Rice and Chips' had shared a can of Saigon Chill with the primate, which caused distress amongst VT Hash management fearing a sponsorship PR disaster. The monkey was shooed away and was seen staggering into the forest hiccuping. The Hash offender was admonished for his misconduct and was told - “No, he couldn't bring the monkey back to Ireland”.
Hash dignitaries are to review membership joining criteria and vetting.
RUN 1045 GALLERY
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