VTH3# 1046

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FEBRUARY 5 2023
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HO TRAM

Hares: Bull Ant, Secs, Hot Lips
Hash Flashers: Chippy, Have-A-Chat, Chom Chom
Ringmaster: NA
Report: Hot Lips

Near-miss at Ho Tram! A bloodbath was narrowly avoided during this eagerly awaited trip to Ho Tram. On setting the run the Hares visited the start of the Hash on possibly a quieter traffic day. The beginning of the run was on a very busy road and Hashers decided to cross the road near a sharp bend in groups busily chatting away and not taking particular attention to the buses barrelling down the road blaring their horns. Although seeing impending doom the drivers of these buses are on a tight schedule and did not slow down, indicating the drivers were possibly big fans of playing Grand Theft Auto IV and were looking for pedestrian points. Luckily there were no fatalities. 

The hazards continued for the Hashers as when entering the jungle had to deal with the biggest pricks ever seen in the guise of very sharp thorns on bushes. Although the route was very well marked one hasher who will remain nameless (Mr T.) acting like some Pied Piper of Hashlin took one alternative path and children who followed had to climb over several killer ant-infested tree trunks. The perils continued and the terrain got steeper, and it was every person for themselves, wives were abandoned by husbands and children disowned on the trail. 

Hashers were delighted to reach the top and parents surveyed the wonderful view not noticing their children perilously close to the cliff edge. VT Hash child protection guidelines soon to be drafted at the next emergency meeting. Hashers were delighted to make their descent back down to the campsite and were greeted by an overly anxious camp manager. Beverages and food was enjoyed by all and Chippy had brought two lovely melons. 

The group was concerned when an 'inflatable' was produced but soon relieved to see it was a blow up surfboard, so now we also had a 'hash boat'. Also deciding to enjoy the water was Rusty, who decided to go for a swim in the sea. Horror struck the beach goers as when he emerged from the sea he appeared to be wearing a pair of blue 'Budgie Smugglers', women and children screamed and scattered in all directions. Rusty had apparently been trying to emulate James Bond's blue togs in the movie 'No Time To Die', but Hashers said they would prefer to die than witness the scene again. 

Any hope of a relaxing snooze on the bus home was shattered by the VT Hash male voice choir and a savage rendition of YMCA, followed by 'why go on with life' lyrics from Morrissey and The Smiths.

On-On!

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