4th March 2018
Nui Dinh - "Mountain Quarry Trail"
Hares: Flying Finn, SamSon, Peter
Hash Flashers: Secs, Flying Finn
Under an azure blue sky and a sweltering sun, a massive 52 Hashers boarded our shiny, new Hashmobile thankful for the cool airconditioning as we leave Hon Ru Ri to revisit what previous Hash Reporter, Faulty Brakes, described as one of the Top 3 Trails in recent years - “Nui Dinh Mountain Quarry Trail”
Disembarking at the construction site of a major new highway we warily make our way to the starting point. The severity of our task confronts us a we dauntingly eye the looming mountain that stands before us. Along the way we nearly lose our jovial Ringmaster, Boozer, as he slips into a manhole. Obviously no stranger to a manhole, he manages to withdraw himself with nary a scratch and skips merrily onwards.
Already dripping with sweat from the scorching heat, we arrive at the starting point where Flying Finn gives us our marching orders - simply keep going up following the red ribbons and then, at the top, turn right. So, on-onwards and, quite literally, upwards we go. It’s not long before we remember why this trail is rated 4 out 5 on Hash Richter scale. It is a relentless, continuous 45° slope through the jungle. Mercifully the bamboo canopy above us provides respite from the blistering sun. With screaming calves we soldier on until the asphalt road welcomes us, indicating that its not far to go until we are able to quench our thirsts with ice cold San Miguel.
Beermeister Buddha is awaiting with eskies laid out and sandwiches at the ready as one by one the parched and weary Hashers arrive for the down-down. We rest up, assuage our thirst and ready ourselves for the circle.
And so the Circle begins with the important reminder that anyone who still wishes to attend the 2018 Summer Weekender in La Gi must book their accommodation at Coco Beach. Thanks to Radiowave for translating for our Russian compadres.
Its time to rate the trail and with Hare Flying Finn front and center, Boozer assembles the virgins only to find himself upstaged by a curious porcine visitor. Yes, in the distance a portly pig waddles towards us and greets us with with a grunt and snort. Gracious hosts that VTH3 are, Slipper offers him a sip of our precious San Miguel. Unimpressed with our antics porky the pig retreats back to from whence he came.
We return our attention back to circle and we have a total of 8 virgins hailing from Russia, Vietnam and Finland. They are invited to rate the trail and Flying Finn is given scores out of 10 that range from 9.4 to a full 10.
Now it is time to hear the excuses from the Returnees all of whom have lame excuses mostly about being busy over Tet. Basil is voted the one with the lamest excuse as he was working over Tet and couldn’t make the Hash. As such he was nominated to down-down using the armband of shame and proceeded to admirably knock back his beer hardly spilling a drop.
Now it was time to baptize our more regular Hasher with Hash Names. So now Ms. Choung will be known as “Shirley”, Buddha’s partner will now be referred to as “Love You” and Shomit’s son will be named “T34” after the legendary Soviet Tank renowned for its firepower, mobility, protection and ruggedness. From what we have seen he will certainly live up to his new Hashtag. Last but not least the rascally young Ms. Lynda was christened Angry Bird.
And finally we charge our 5 Sinners - mostly for footwear faults, however, we have one Sinner who stands out and is immediately dubbed “Mr. Versace” by Ringmaster Boozer. His Sin? Well, he turned up for a ramble up a mountain dressed as if he was about to go an a date with a ravishing lady. Despite the arduous climb, the good humoured Russian gentleman was dressed to impress in trendy blue jeans and a crisp dress shirt and has hardly broken a sweat. It’s not long before our good natured water slingers have soaked him to the skin before Mother Teresa points out that the real Sinner is Shomit who invited his friend along without informing him of the correct attire. Shomit immediately owns up to his crime and accepts his watery punishment with aplomb.
With the circle over we board the Hashmobile and begin the journey back to Hon Ru Ri. As the sun sets, the lights on the bus are dimmed and we are immediately and miraculously transported into the surreal world of the Hash Discotheque! A kaleidoscope of multi-coloured lights and lasers diffract through the haze of the onboard smoke machine. Unable able to restrain themselves from the pumping baseline of the Vengaboys’ Sha-La-La-La-La Boozer and Mother Teresa boogie on down the aisle getting the party and singalong started. Before we know it we find ourselves back in reality at Hon Ru Ri. The Hashmobile is unloaded and as we all depart in to the night we reflect on a yet another great day of exercise and fun in the beautiful Vietnamese countryside.
VTH3 #828 PHOTO GALLERY
ADDITIONAL PHOTOS FROM FLYING FINN
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